im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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