so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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