I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
