I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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