drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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