I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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