I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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