If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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