I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
