found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
