two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
