he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
In America we eat man semen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
