dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
