Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
