no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
