A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
