whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
