My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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