put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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