I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
