I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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