we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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