Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
