try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize