There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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