I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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