I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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