all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
