Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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