I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
