all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
