wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
