can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I believe in your delicious
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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