I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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