Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
