Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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