true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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