my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
