I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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