Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
