Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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