3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
