Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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