Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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