never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
