his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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