my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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