Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
