Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
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I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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