like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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