guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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