i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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