So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
