i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
