Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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