The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
