THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
