I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
