So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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