Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
