i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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